Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day.

I thought alot yesterday.

I thought about my mom who raised four kids without Dr. Phil or Oprah. Without playdates and Kids Eat Free restaurant nights. Without Chick-Fil-A playgrounds. Without Wal-mart or Target. Without Google or Facebook. Without hand sanitizer and chewable Tylenol. Yet we still turned out ok.

I thought about my mother-in-law, my sister, my sisters-in-law and nieces who are great moms to great kids.

I thought about our two birthmoms who carried my baby boys for 9 months and because of their deep love for them, gave them life and gave us hope.

I thought about the mom friends and family I have who have new babies. New babies with great names like Ezra, Charleigh, Sadie, Wesley, Evie, Emory, Hudson, Libby, Jordan, Jackson, Kincaid, Austin, Jonah, and Archer. (I have some very fertile FB friends! Most of them are from our college ministry days.)

I thought about my mom friend who brought her newly adopted baby home just in time for Mother's Day.

I thought about the moms who lost babies this year and had to say goodbye much too soon.

I thought about the moms who are watching their children die with ugly cancers that can't be treated.

I thought about the moms who wished they could still pick up the phone and call their moms.

I thought about the single women who dread this day. They would love to be married with kids, but the answer to their prayer has been "Not yet" instead of "Yes." I've been there.

I thought about the married women who dread this day. They want a baby so badly they can't explain it. But it is just not happening. Failed infertility treatments. Inconclusive tests. Disappointing news. Yet all around them, friends are pregnant. Baby showers are numerous. They are feeling guilty for not wanting to go and fake excitement while wondering "When will it be my turn?" Having to sit when the pastor asks all the mothers to stand in church on this day is almost unbearable. I've been here too and I still remember. I cry as I sit and type this because those emotions are so real and so raw.

I thought about my boys (who are not moms) and wondered what they will remember most about me and my mothering.

I thought about moms today and thanked God that they were His idea.