Here are my other two favorite baptism stories. You can read the first two by clicking here. In order to get the full effect, you have to picture both of these in your head as they are happening.
3. This happened to a staff member at Second Baptist when he was at a smaller church. He was baptizing an older woman who was well known in the community. What many people did not know is that she wore a wig. Being a prim and proper woman and not wanting to divulge her little secret, she insisted on wearing her wig during her baptism. When the minister dunked her, the wig came off and was floating in the water. But no one could tell because they were higher up than the congregation in the baptistery.
In a split second he had a decision to make: Do I pull her up without the wig or do I try to reposition her underneath the wig and pull her and the wig up at the same time hoping people will just think it's her wet hair. He chose the latter. However, what he didn't take into account was the fact that when he dunked her he caused some waves in the water so as he is trying to reposition her the wig keeps floating away. He is so fixated on getting her under the wig that he forgets SHE IS UNDERWATER THIS WHOLE TIME. She begins flailing about and grabbing on to him wondering why he is trying to drown her instead of baptize her. He finally pulls her up sputtering and coughing with her wig in front of her face like Cousin Itt. I think she became a Methodist.
4. I don't remember where I heard it. Large church for a medium sized town. The baptismal area had two sides - men's and women's. Both sides had changing areas, showers, bathrooms, hairdryers, etc. There were steps from both sides leading down into the baptismal pool.
There was a lady who was in charge of making sure everyone had what they needed like robes and towels and were lined up correctly. No Baptism Committee. Just her. She was one of those church ladies that liked having power. Bossy. Things had to be done her way. It was her job to meet with the people and explain what to do and how to do it. She ran a tight ship so to speak. Most people were a little afraid of her. Her biggest rule? If the person was a man, he was to come down the man steps, get baptized then turn and go back up the man steps. Otherwise, if he went up the other steps he would be in the women's changing area. Same thing for women. Go down the woman steps, come up the woman steps. Are you still with me?
One guy was so very excited that he had given his life to Christ. He couldn't wait to be baptized along with five other people. He listened intently to Mrs. Bossy's rules. He was thrilled to be the first person in line. He went down the man steps, got baptized and then he got confused. He walked across the pool and started going up the woman steps instead of turning around and going back up the man steps. A simple mistake. Except Mrs. Bossy was standing at the top of the woman steps, arms folded, pursed lips, eyes shooting daggers at the poor guy who just messed up her deal. What was he to do? There were four more people some men and some women and he was in the wrong place. He had to get back to the man side. So in a moment of brilliance, he decided to swim underwater underneath the pastor to the other side. Simple solution, right? Well, it seemed like it until he happened to look to his right. He didn't realize the baptistery was clear glass in the front so 2000 people were watching him swim underwater underneath the pastor. He gave the thumbs up sign and just kept going. Mrs. Bossy still doesn't speak to him.
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