Because I'm In a Storytelling Mood

My niece Brittany recently posted a note on Facebook telling how she was opening a can of pineapples using one of those "safety" can openers. However, she ended up cutting her finger on one of the metal slivers. She passed out cold. She had to go to the doctor and get a tetanus shot and some finger glue to seal up the cut.


Her note reminded me that my side of the family seems to have more than their fair share of fainting stories. It is bizarre. Possibly genetic. Let's just say that you may not want any of us to be the only person helping you in a bad situation.


So for the next few days I thought I'd let you in on a few of our best fainting stories. And help you see that this genetic abnormality doesn't affect just one or two of us but most of us. Fortunately, for Kevin, he has a fainting story of his own so he fits right in with my family.


I'll cover a few of the simple ones first (and by all means if you dispute the details, feel free to leave a comment setting me straight).


My oldest brother Mike -
When he was either in high school or college, one of his friends was in a very bad car accident. Mike went to see him at the hospital. He walked out of the hospital room and collapsed in the hall.


My brother David -
He has four kids. When one of them was born he either passed out or almost passed out in the delivery room. To the point that all of the doctors and nurses were tending to him instead of my sister-in-law Monette who was lying on the table saying, "Hello, can someone please take care of me." Way to steal the show, Dave.


My dad -
He has passed out several times. At least once when he was in the military. But the one that stands out to the kids is when we were all in the bedroom playing a board game. Dad was in the living room watching tv and mom was in her bedroom on the phone. Just like four kids tend to do, we had been bickering and arguing about that game all night. My dad had already told us several times to stop fighting. We were at it again and he jumped up from his recliner and came into the room to spank us. Keep in mind that our house wasn't that big so he didn't have far to walk. He started to say, "I've told you. . . " and he passed out cold on the bedroom floor. We were shocked and we started screaming and crying. One of us yelled, "We just killed Daddy". My mom came in the room and freaked out. About that time my Dad woke up and he ended up being fine. He just got up too fast from his chair. Needless to say, we were very good children after that incident. For about a day.


Are you seeing a pattern here? Stay tuned tomorrow for stories of Sadie Hawkins, deer hearts, rosaries, and gangrene.